One-eyed Mischief
by KagamineKagami
Summary: Date Masamune and Chosokabe Motochika team up to prank their friends, acquaintances, and maybe even enemies. (Poor, gullible Yukimura.) Modern AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, minna! A little information before you start reading: Masamune is 21 and Kojuurou is 31. Yukimura is 19, and Sasuke is 27. Yukimura and Sasuke are Takeda's adopted children. Bold outside of my little notes will be Masamune's Engrish. Italics will be thoughts. -Rin**

Date Masamune had been waiting for this moment for weeks now. Before, the timing had never been right, but at last the stars had aligned. He had invited himself to Sanada Yukimura's place on the pretext of wanting to see the boy since he was home for a visit from college, and Kojuurou had been too busy to come with him. Old Man Takeda and Yukimura's brother Sasuke were out. It was perfect.

Masamune put his video camera in its travel bag and slung it over his shoulder, taking the broom he'd set by the door and heading out.

When he got to the Takeda house, he knocked on the door, triggering the thudding sound of running feet. Yukimura threw the door open, always ready to promptly greet a guest.

"Ah! Masamune-dono! Wel-" Masamune interrupted the younger boy, inviting himself into the house (though given the chance to continue, Yukimura would have done it for him, albeit extremely formally).

"I told you not to call me that, Sanada. You're too formal." Yukimura closed the door and followed Masamune down the entrance hall to the living room.

"How have you been?" Masamune shrugged.

"Same as ever. How's college?" Yukimura's smile widened.

"It is wonderful! I've been learning so much, and everyone is very nice."

"Great. Had any **parties** yet?" Yukimura understood some of the English words Masamune used more frequently.

"Parties? Why would I be having parties? Wouldn't that distract me from my studies?" Masamune frowned.

"Y'know, someday I've _got_ to teach you how to have fun." Masamune threw himself onto the beat-up old couch, grabbing the TV remote and finding himself something to watch. Yukimura sat down in a chair next to the couch.

They talked and watched TV for a little while (for Masamune's excuse for coming was partly true), and then Masamune began step one of his plan.

"I'm gonna go see what the Old Man has to eat." He climbed over the back of the couch and went to the kitchen. Once there he filled a glass with water and set up his video camera. Masamune dragged a step-stool into the middle of the room, climbing it with the glass of water and his broom.

He carefully pinned the glass to the ceiling, holding it in place with the handle of the broom. Slowly, he climbed down from the stool and kicked it away, sending it skittering into a corner. Now everything was set up.

"Oi, Yukimura! C'mere, I need your help." Always ready to help, Yukimura came running.

"What is it, Masamune-do-" He cut the honorific short, remembering the admonition he'd received earlier.

"Can you hold this for a minute?" Masamune gestured to the broom with his free hand.

"Of course." Yukimura stepped up and grabbed it, allowing Masamune to let go and move away.

"**Great**." Masamune smirked. "I'm going to the bathroom."

What he really did was head straight home, turning on his laptop as soon as he rushed in the door. He was getting a live feed from the camera he'd left behind. Yukimura was still standing in the kitchen, holding the broom, humming happily.

This lasted for several hours, with Yukimura wondering if something had happened to his friend, but not wanting to fail in the "important" task he had been given. Eventually Sasuke returned home.

"I'm back, Yuki!"

"Excellent! I'm in the kitchen." The green-clothed boy expected to see Yukimura attempting to cook. He stared for a moment before the situation he found clicked. He put a hand to his forehead.

"Masamune came over, didn't he." It wasn't a question.

"Yes, actually. How did you know? Oh, and do you know what happened to him? He said he'd be right back." Sasuke sighed.

"Yare, yare." He muttered, mostly to himself.

"Yuki, he's not here. You fell for another trick." Yukimura blinked in surprise.

"I did?" His brother nodded.

"You did." Finding the step-stool in its corner, he set it up and retrieved the glass.

Masamune, in his room, wondered how long Yukimura would have stayed there had Sasuke not come home. Until he passed out from lack of sleep, probably. Absorbed in his thoughts, he didn't notice Sasuke hunting for the camera until he found it and took it outside. The older man tapped the lens to make sure he had the other's attention.

"Hello, Dokuganryuu." He set the camera down in the driveway, facing his car, and got inside. As Sasuke started the car, Masamune narrowed his eye.

What is he... The engine started. _Oh, crap_. The car began moving in reverse, though Masamune didn't see anything after it crushed his camera. He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling.

_Kojuurou's gonna kill me._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Another note about ages: Motochika is 27, and Motonari is 25. -Rin**

Chosokabe Motochika was bored. So bored, in fact, that he thought he might explode if he didn't find something to do soon. The obvious solution, of course, was to find his flat mate, Mori Motonari, and see what he could do to hinder whatever work the other was doing.

He wandered around their flat searching, finally finding Motonari in his bedroom, at his desk, working. Motochika entered without asking permission and sat on the desk, on top of the papers Motonari had been trying to write on.

"Yo, Nari-chan, what're ya doing?" Motonari glared at him. "I was _trying_ to work. And don't call me that. Now move your butt so I can finish."

"You're so boring, Nari-chan." Motochika completely ignored Motonari's dislike for the nickname. "Forget that stuff, come do something with me."

Motonari sighed. "If you'll get up and let me finish, I'll play a board game with you." Motochika shrugged. That would work. He hopped up from the desk and poked Motonari's cheek.

"Don't take too long, 'kay?" He went to his own room and threw himself down on the bed to wait. But eventually he got bored again, and decided to find some other way of amusing himself. Messing with Motonari was always fun, maybe he'd do that.

All he had to do was get his flat mate out of that room and away from his work, right? Motochika knew just how to do it. He went to the kitchen and rummaged in the cupboards until he found a bottle of Febreeze. It would work nicely.

Next he looked through his desk, which was similar to Motonari's, but much less organized. Finally finding a zip tie, he closed the drawer a little too hard and put the tie around the can, over the trigger, but not too tightly.

He slunk down the hallway to Motonari's room, pausing at the door with one hand one the knob, listening. He heard only the sounds of rustling paper, so he opened the door, pulled the zip tie tight, and threw the bottle before closing the door and running away.

He waited in the living room for Motonari to come out of the Febreeze-d bedroom, which he did, gasping for breath.

"What was that?" He seemed angry.

"Febreeze." Motochika grinned. "The commercials say you can wash a whole room with it, so I thought I'd help you out. But anyway, you can't work now, right? So let's go do something."

Motonari's frown disappeared like a ripple on water, which should have been Motochika's first indicator that this wasn't going to work as he had hoped.

"Yes, let's." Motonari went to the door and held it open for him. "After you."

"Aww, how nice of you." He ruffled his flat mate's hair as he passed, then looked back, only to have the door slammed in his face.

"Nari-chan?" He knocked on the door and tried the knob, butt he was locked out. "Motonari? You gonna let me in?" From behind the door came a firm "No."

Motochika sighed and leaned against the wall. He probably should have seen this coming, but it's always easier to say that looking back on things. He pulled out his cellphone and started calling friends to find a place to stay for the night. Motonari would cool off when the Febreeze smell cleared up, which would take at least a day.

After calling everyone listed under the letters A through C, he came to the first name under D: Date Masamune. The phone rang three times before he picked up.

"Yo."

"Can I come stay with you for a while? Nari locked me out."

"What, again?" Masamune laughed. "What'd you do this time? Actually, just tell me when you get here. I have a feeling it's a long story."

Motochika grinned. "Thanks, man. I'm on my way."

* * *

After Motochika explained his Febreeze grenade, Masamune snorted.

"I've got a better story for you." And he told Motochika about the trick he'd played on Yukimura with the broom and the cup of water.

"Seriously? Mine's totally better." After a brief argument over who was better at messing with their friends, Motochika had an idea.

"Hey, Dokuganryuu, we should team up. Think of the chaos we could create." Masamune grinned in a mildly terrifying way.

"I like it. You're on."

Meanwhile, at the grocery store, Kojuurou felt a sudden shiver, and an inexplicable sense of impending doom.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Takeda?"

"Nah, he'd probably like it. And I already got Yukimura, remember?"

"Right..." Motochika thought about it, scratching his head. This was a very important matter: choosing the next victim.

"Kojuurou?"

"Hmm..."

"Come on, he wouldn't actually kill you." Motochika waved a hand at Masamune. "He probably wouldn't mind beating you up a little, but he couldn't kill you."

"That's true." Masamune nodded. "Okay. Kojuurou it is, then."

Motochika grinned. "What are we gonna do to him?"

Masamune thought for a moment, then pulled out his phone. "Here, I found this picture a while ago. I've been waiting for a chance to try it."

He handed the phone to Motochika, who took one look at the picture of a stapler encased in jello and declared it perfect.

"We should plant stuff in his keyboard, too." Masamune took his phone back and put it in his pocket. "He'll be going out at some point this weekend. We can do it then."

"But won't the plants in the keyboard take too long to grow?"

"Right...we'll plant stuff in a different keyboard ahead of time and swap it with his."

* * *

They planted chia seeds in a spare keyboard they found, using glue to keep them in the spaces between the keys.

When Kojuurou left for the grocery store a few days later, he wondered about the overly cheerful sendoff from the pair, but could only hope they wouldn't damage anything too badly while he was gone.

As soon as the door shut behind him, Masamune and Motochika switched his keyboard with the one they had prepared, and gathered up small office supplies. Kojuurou worked from home, so he had a variety of small things that were perfect for putting into jello.

They rushed to the kitchen and made five different flavors of jello, encasing a stapler, a pair of scissors, a stack of erasers, a handheld hole-punch, and a paperweight in cherry, lime, orange, grape, and strawberry gelatin. They shoved leftovers aside and put it all in the fridge before sitting down to play video games while they waited for it to set.

After blowing up five cars and half an apartment building, they put their controllers down and took the jello out of the fridge. Motochika poked the orange one, watching it jiggle and grinning.

"This is gonna be great."

* * *

They placed the jello-encased office supplies on Kojuurou's desk and set up a hidden camera nearby to record his reaction, since they didn't want to actually be there and die very painful deaths.

When Kojuurou came home, he brought in all the groceries and put them away, then thought he would go and get some work done before dinner. He made himself a cup of coffee and went to his office, blowing on the hot liquid. He reached for the light switch, sipping his coffee, and promptly dropped it when the lights came on.

His things! Was that jello? He poked at it. It jiggled. It was indeed jello. But why? And were those plants in his keyboard? What had happened while he was gone?

Kojuurou berated himself mentally for even having to ask. Someone-two someones-weren't going to be happy.

"MASAMUNE!"


End file.
